Two Men Walk into a Pub....

 The Mourinho Blues

Eight weeks in & those two old school pundits The Midweeker and The Weekender finally find a decent pub for a cheeky Sanchez burger and cup of tea/bottle of cider combo to sit down and chew the cud.

Midweeker - So what's going on with the British teams in Europe? Anyone would think that UKIP have branched out into football management!

Weekender - The Arse threw it away! Wenger showing his hands by dropping Cech or as some are saying 'resting' the big man! Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho is having much fun @ the Bridge! The way the Blues are playing they will be down @ the docks before the season has even really got going! Will it be a case of Costa coffee for Diego? If United & City don't pick up some points the Prem is in danger of losing a Champions League place!

MW - What about the Prem though? Chelsea have the blues, while those sly foxes have shocked us all and have ransacked the top of the table and even the Happy Hammers are Slaven away getting massive results near the top of the tree as well!

WE - It's pure madness! The way things are going Noble could be named in the next England squad (it's been overdue). The Foxes? Wow! Seven games in and they are practically safe already, who'd have thought of that from the Tinkerman?? Vardy is electric!

Not sure what's going on with Villa though? Thought Sherwood would be a hero for the Villains, he needs a new gillet and an Adebayour or Lerner will show him the Adebay-door!

MW -  Where has this Leicester striker appeared from? I'd Vardy heard of him last season?! Now he's an England striker??

What about Nolan & Big Sam @ the Boleyn Ground? An old school tough tackling bites yer legs midfielder and an even older school no nonsense football manager, surprised they haven't found new home already

WE - 'Arry to Newcastle? The Wally with the Brolly can't have much time left! The Looney Toons are in deep! Along with the Mackems, old Kaboul hasn't really done much! And Dick must be finding it hard with the amount of balls hitting the Sunderland net, could Big Sam end up @ the Stadium of Light??

MW - 'arry couldn't handle the commute! His old North London club are up & down like a hoe's drawers! Spurs threw it away against the Woolwich Wanderers playing Fazio in the back four when they were willing to pay his cab fare before the season started to ship him off to West Brom! It's was all doom and gloom with City due @ The Lane and Pochettino's men spank 'em 4-1!

WE - Yeah who saw that coming?! Even Kane scored! - I still think he won't hit double figures this season. Meanwhile Liverpool look proper w*&k! Rodgers must be glad Sturridge is back in the goals with rumours that Ancellotti is being lined up as the next boss of the Scousers

MW - Klop! Klop? Who's there? It's Jurgen the German banging on the Premiership door! Could he end up on Liverpool's doorstep?

Apparently Rodgers has lost the dressing room - he's been wandering around behind the scenes @ Anfield like a little lost sheep, surely it's signposted?? Someone point him in the right direct....

And with that, burgers polished off tea drank and cider downed there's a flurry of movement as sheepskins are donned and trackie tops done up to the chin. They are off into the now autumnal night parting with a firm handshake and murmurs of doing a podcast, (it's what the kids listen to nowadays apparently) they'll be back in a few weeks to do it all again

The Midweeker

The Midweeker is back and he does like to stick the boot in! "No sugar in my tea love, im sweet enough!" It's all gone a bit wrong for Chelsea over the last few weeks, out goes Robbie and in came Rafa, but after boring draws at home to City & Fulham it was last weekends defeat to the Hammers that really took toll! I can't see him turning it around, they are gonna crash out of Europe and i fear that Rafa will be collecting his P45 a lot earlier than expected!

As for the rest of the British connection in Europe it's gonna be a long week, the best i can see for Wengers boys is a one nil defeat, i can't believe the bloke is under pressure, i mean a few weeks back they smashed their North London rivals 5-2! and now some fans are calling for him to get the chop! Pure madness. What kinda world are we living in at the moment?