Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Steven Fletcher's Pink Y-Fronts............

So with fingers hovering over the keyboard in a dinghy East London pub where Wi-Fi has only just been invented, our two old skool pundits with the help of Edison the tea boy translating and typing chew the fat over the latest footballing events...........

The Midweeker : Before we get started, my word Edgar Davids has made a difference to Barnet! He maybe 90 odd, but already in the 2 games he has kicked a ball, Barnet have looked like world beaters! It wont be long before the skillful icon takes the Bee's into the top flight of the English game (OK a slight exaggeration lets start with getting them promoted to league one!)

Meanwhile in Ipswich, it's all gone a bit wrong...... last nights defeat was the last straw and Jewell found himself out of a job again, fans where up in arms, I mean the amount of dosh they have splashed out yet if anything they have gone backwards not forwards, a bit like the latest muse album! Rumours have it that the tractor boys are screaming for Mick ' I can smell round corners' McCarthy!

The Weekender : Muse?? Don't try and get down with the kids, you don't want to get caught up in those Jimmy Savile rumours! My money's on Redknapp for the Tractor Boys, lives just down the round and look's like a mashed swede the fans are gonna love him!

Shame to see Jimmy Bullard call it a day now there was a looker and had cult written all over him, nice to see someone play with a smile on their face! That's one thing you can say about the lower leagues there's none of these fancy dan prima donas like we get in The Premiership.

MW: Yeah and while we're on the subject did Jim fix it for you? I tell you what else gets my goat up, bloody multi-coloured footy boots, i mean whats wrong with the old Adidas world cup classics? Brian Clough would turn in his grave if he could see the state of the game these days! Our mate Martin O'Neil ain't a fan of them either, rumour has it that he fines Sunderland players for wearing them! While we're on the topic of Sunderland, I can't believe Steven Fletcher wears pink y-fronts when he enters the field of play, apparently he has a pair of lucky pants, which were white until a recent washing mix up, his Missus put her red socks in with them!
WE : What's all this argy bargy with John Terry, he was found not guilty in court and then found guilty by the FA! But still certain players have beef with them? We all know the FA couldn't organise a p*ss up in a brewery but they've served the punishment so it should be end of! Mind you back in our day it was all sorted out on the pitch, players had more respect for each other and if they didn't they'd get clobbered off the ball with and not even get a yellow card........bring back Tommy Smith or Ron 'Chopper' Harris they'd sort 'em out!

And while we're at it I thought I was still watching Tom Daley the other week, turns out it was just MOTD with Suarez and Bale diving all over the place........STAY ON YOUR FEET as our mate Wilkins would say!

MW : Yeah just picture this, Tom Daley steps up to the diving board and then pulls out from behind his skin tight speedos a size 5 football and boots it into the crowd! Diving should be kept in a pool and football on the pitch! Not sure why players feel the need to dive! I mean now with sky live pause you can watch it in slow mo, and the expression on the players face is almost believable, although they do look a bit special! Oh and before I forget according to Neil Warnock, even goalkeepers are playing up to the camera! Just ask Chris Kirkland! he went down like a sack of spuds!
WE : Was good to see St James' Park go back to it's proper name after all that " stadium" malarkey the other day! With all this naming rights's bull the heart is being ripped out the game and in this age of instant success it's good to see that Alan Pardew has been signed up for virtually the rest of his life! The fans will change their tune about the 'cockney mafia' once the success starts coming in..........

MW : The final thought of tonight goes to our QPR fans.... how long can Mark Hughes last @ QPR, i mean the bloke is proper w**k! The best thing for him is to hold his hands up and just admit that he ain't got a clue what his doing! Could 'Arry end up at Loftus Road or will Joey Barton make a shock return as player manager?
WE : As always mate, it's been emotional.......   

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